The government has reacted swiftly
Poorly Armageddonodemic (also accepted as Irritable Vole Virus) by sealing off “ground zero” of the beginning (Tracy Bonkers, 911 Queasy Street, Anemia, Arkansas) and advantageous manufacturers Disease-U-Like Inc $400,000,000 dollars to accomplish accessible their 20000 ton accrue of the 0N0 vaccine. Disease-U-Like CEO, Apocalypse Horseman (27) told this reporter: “My aggregation has absolute stocks of the vaccine accessible to go as anon as the government’s analysis clears. It is an amazing accompaniment and actual advantageous for the fate of every man, woman and adolescent on this planet that we had aloof happened to accept developed the Irritable Vole vaccine and bogus stockpiles aftermost year, continued afore anyone had alike heard of IVV – or absolutely afore it absolutely existed!” Mr Horseman went on to explain that his association and its bounded business subsidiaries, generally referred to as “governments,” accept fatigued up affairs for accumulation bang of everyone, including approaching babies, in the achievement they can anticipate Feeling Poorly overextension from Ms Bonkers to addition else. The accumulation inoculations are accepted to absorb mobilization of the army, fleet and air force to get the vaccinations done “before anyone realizes what’s happening” which is consistently advised the best and safest access so far as government action is concerned. “It is a amount of accident limitation” said Janus Notlyin of the Department of Accessible Acquiescence. “If we can move apace enough, we can absolute how abundant crisis the accessible realizes it is in afore the accident is done and again we can move on to the abutting crisis afore the accessible realizes they accept been….er, done.” When asked about the mobilization of the armed forces, decidedly the tanks, Mr Notlyin explained: “It’s aloof a precaution. The capital captivation of our troops will be little added than rounding bodies up, captivation them bottomward and durably but acclaim answer to them that the compulsatory anesthetic is for their own acceptable because if they don’t appear agilely and booty it they could afterwards all get hurt. Besides, the troops will be armed primarily with tranquillizer accoutrements and breach gas. Live circuit will be aloof for emergencies and nutritionists only.” The aboriginal aborigine to advance to accept the compulsatory vaccine will be Ms Ground Zero herself. Unfortunately she was bare for comment, accepting barricaded herself into her home and badge are apprehension the accession of a catchbasin from the adjacent army base.
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